Freddie

 Alright, alright, so I'm at this fancy restaurant, right? Trying to impress this date. You know, the kind of place where the waiter whispers the specials and the bread basket comes with three kinds of artisanal butter. I'm trying to be on my best behavior, channeling my inner Pope.

My date, she's looking fantastic, and I'm trying to keep my eyes on her, not on the… well, you see the lady in the picture. Let's just say she's got some… *prominent* features.

So, the waiter comes over, and he's like, "And for you, sir?"

And I, trying to be polite, trying to keep my composure, I look at my date, then I look at the woman in the picture, and I say, "Where are your manners, Freddie – take your elbows off the table!"

My date looks at me like I've just grown a second head. The waiter just freezes. And then I realize, I think I might have just… *borrowed* some dialogue from a very memorable cartoon.

I stammered, "Uh, I mean... where are *my* manners? Take *my* elbows off the table!"

The waiter, bless his heart, just nodded slowly and backed away. My date, she just gave me this look. I think it was a mix of "Are you insane?" and "Did I just accidentally date a cartoon character?"

Let's just say the rest of the meal was a little… *awkward*. But hey, at least we had something to talk about! And now I know, when in doubt, just blame Freddie. He's always got his elbows everywhere.