Remember Barbie? And G.I. Joe? Two titans of the toy industry, right?

 You know, I was at my niece's birthday party the other day, and it got me thinking about the toys of our youth. Remember Barbie? And G.I. Joe? Two titans of the toy industry, right?

So, my niece, she's got this list for Santa, and it's a doozy. She wants a Barbie AND a G.I. Joe for her birthday. Now, I'm standing there, looking at this list, and I'm thinking, "Okay, a Barbie, sure. G.I. Joe, a classic. But together?"

And then her mom, bless her heart, she pipes up, "Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?"

Now, this is where it gets good, people. My niece, she's like, five years old, but she's already got the wisdom of a seasoned divorce attorney. She looks at her mom, dead serious, and says, "No, she comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken."

I swear, I almost choked on my mini-quiche. Fakes it with Ken! You hear that? This kid's already figured out the patriarchy, and she's still learning to tie her shoes!

And you know what? I get it. I mean, Barbie's out there, living her best life. She's a doctor, an astronaut, a president, a race car driver, probably a venture capitalist by Tuesday. And Ken? Ken's just... Ken. He's the accessory. He's the guy who shows up to the party and asks, "So, what are we doing here?"

Barbie's got her dream house, her dream car, her dream career. Ken's got... well, he's got a tan. And probably a really good conditioner.

And G.I. Joe? Now there's a guy with a purpose! He's saving the world, fighting bad guys, probably has a really impressive pension plan. He's got action, he's got grit, he's got the kind of guy-liner that says, "I mean business."

So, my niece, she's not wrong. Barbie and G.I. Joe? That's a power couple. That's a couple that gets things done. Ken's just along for the ride, probably taking selfies and wondering if he should get a new surfboard.

I'm just saying, if my kid asked for a Barbie and a G.I. Joe, I wouldn't even question it. I'd just buy 'em. Because apparently, the kids today are way ahead of us. They're already seeing through the facade, and they're looking for the real action. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. Thank you, you've been a great audience!